risk i thought i’d regret forever
It was q3 of 2023.
I remember the exact day — hot, humid, and buzzing with the kind of tension only major life decisions can bring. I was at a crossroads, staring at two paths laid before me. On one side was safety: the comfortable rhythm of a steady job, predictable routines, and the knowledge that I could keep moving through life without shaking things up too much. On the other side was chaos: uncertainty, risk, and a vision that lived solely in my imagination.
Choosing the first path would have been easy. No judgment, no questions, no sleepless nights. But I didn’t want easy — I wanted growth. And growth, as I’ve learned, almost always requires discomfort.
So, I chose the second path.
At first, it felt exciting. There was an energy in doing something bold and different, a thrill in daring to step into the unknown. But that initial spark didn’t last long. The reality of my decision hit quickly and hard, bringing with it self-doubt, fear, and, at times, outright panic.
There’s a line from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist that kept circling in my head during those days:
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
But what nobody tells you is that the universe’s conspiracy isn’t always gentle. Sometimes, it comes in the form of challenges that push you to your limits.
I had plenty of those. All those application got rejected, my confidence wavered, and there were moments when I felt like the entire world was against me. I remember sitting at my desk late at night, staring at my reflection in the dark screen of my laptop. My thoughts were ruthless. What have I done? Why didn’t I just stay where I was?
I clung to that idea. I reminded myself that every struggle, every mistake, and every sleepless night was part of a process. Growth isn’t supposed to be easy — it’s supposed to shape you. And shaping isn’t gentle.
The breakthrough didn’t come suddenly. It wasn’t a dramatic “aha” moment where everything clicked into place. Instead, it was a series of small victories — tiny glimmers of hope that reminded me why I had taken the risk in the first place. A kind word from someone who believed in me. A small win that validated my hard work.
One of those moments happened on a random Tuesday. I received an email from someone I didn’t know — a stranger who had come across my work and took the time to say it had helped them. That email, as simple as it was, felt like a light piercing through the storm clouds.
And that’s the thing about storms. They don’t last forever.
As the months went by, I began to notice the skies clearing. The chaos that once felt all-consuming gave way to clarity. The risk I thought would ruin me turned out to be the decision that saved me.
Taking that risk was my way of showing up — for myself, for my dreams, for the life I wanted to build. And now, standing on the other side of it, I can see how much it was worth it.
2023 taught me that fear isn’t a sign to turn back; it’s a sign you’re about to do something meaningful. It taught me that mistakes aren’t the end of the world; they’re stepping stones to something greater.
Would I do it all again? Without a doubt. Because now, looking back, I see the rainbow I couldn’t see before. So, if you’re reading this and you’re standing at your own crossroads, let me leave you with this:
The storm is scary. But staying in the same place is scarier. Take the leap. Face the storm. Because after every storm, there’s always a rainbow. And yours might just be more beautiful than you ever imagined. 🌈
